The Confessions Page

today i woke up at 12.10pm.
well, it seems that i did not change much for every weekend because i still sleep until automatically wake up.
after that, i just went to have "economy rice" as my lunch.
then i read on some news and information while surfing some website.
after some moment past, i start to feel tired and the weather started to rain which eventually caused me to have the feeling to take a rest.
the moment i woke up again was 6.40pm and i do feel like i had have been almost doing nothing literally at the end of my weekend.
then i drive to Genting Klang to withdraw some money and went to have my dinner at Hometown "Yong Tao Foo" again as my dinner.

somehow i do have a lot of thought during that moment as i still haven plan what should i do for next year 2013 because there is a lot of decision to be make.
honestly, when i saw day by day of my life passing, i start to realize more and more things as one of it was about my "financial" because i don't feel to work as part time promoter to extra money.
moreover, i don't want to ask money from my parents since i told my father that i can settle it with my working salary because he had helped me to pay my college fees.
therefore this had made myself to have the "sucks" feelings as i understand myself was so "DDLY" (犯贱) as i don't want to do anything but wish the money can drop from the sky.
in fact, i seems to be so enjoying "burning" my working salary for movie and maintain the lifestyle i had during working days.

on the other hand, my plan for the "stock investment" did not go as i wish where the money still "stuck" there and feeling quite helpless as i don't wish to cut the losses.
furthermore, i do recall back about what my sister's husband told me that "in order to be have more money, you need to be stingy+evil" when he was around 18+ years old started to work last time.
another thing that he told me was about his sister was even "more stingy" and eventually have the property that she own such as the RM400,000+ apartment at Setapak and another property while she was working for Amway after graduate her diploma.
again i just feel that there is no exact way to success and it is all depend how hard you work for the thing you want and here goes my "sucks" feelings for myself as i am so clear about my own personalities that i had been categories as really "useless" from at other's people point of view.

seriously this kind of comparison did not make me happy as it had "raped" my mind everyday when i wake up because having the "losing" feeling as my friend had graduated and seems to be quite success, yet i still studying and doing nothing much to improve.
one thing for sure is that no people can help you if you did not help yourself just like when you no money to "eat rice", no people will give you money freely whereby as a 22 years old guy, it is so embarrass to take money from money because we "got leg, got hand" (有手有脚) can go work right?
finally i arrived back home around 8.30pm and still look on some information.
well, i just realized about how to find out who stalk you on Facebook by just going to your home, select "View Page Source", then press Ctrl+F to find the "OrderedFriendsListInitialData" words and you will eventually saw many type of different ID where you can copy paste after facebook.com/ to find it out.

in my opinion, i think the ID shown is not about the friend who stalk you but is the friend that you interest most such as inbox chating, like or comment on the status.
anyways, i start to plan for my exam and write down the consultation hour for each lecture by setting it as my home wallpaper in the desktop to remind myself as shown below.
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Miss Michelle Khu - R005, Monday 2-3pm, Thursday 10.30pm-1pm, Wednesday 9-11am
Miss Sharifah - R207, Tuesday 10-3pm, Wednesday 11-1pm, Thursday 9-12pm
Mr Roland - Tuesday 11-2pm, Thursday 9-11am, Friday 10-11am
Mr Loh - Tuesday 9-12pm, Wednesday 9-12pm
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it is because this will be the last month for exam preparation and it is already week 12 which only left 3 more weeks before i go for the "war".

on the other hand, i was "annoyed" with the UTAR Confessions page because there is a lot of "sex story" that happening at within the college area where they confess using anonymous identity.
well, how would you feel when you saw such post as below?
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#408
i have a confession.. i am not mentioning which campus i am from because i wanna protect my identity.. i am a sex addict and i like sleeping with girls. i need it weekly! i used to have a fubu who does it with me all the time but then she got out of it because i become crazier as the day passes and even moved from normal sex to minor bdsm and then soon i discovered love for sex that involves pissing. those r just kinky and i luv it.. but not all girls love this. i get horny almost all the time... and porn just wont help me to satisfy all these.. so i start to dabble in illegal jobs to earn money to satisfy my pleasures.. i started calling pimps and arrange beautiful escorts 4 me to have good sex and i just enjoy doing it. i am so addicted that i even lend money from ppl just to have sex.. it is out of control and i dont know what to do.. it is just so hard. im still struggling and i hope someone here can advise or to make me feel better. thanks to admin for this page, i finally get to voice my feeling out!! i hope i can get out of these issues!

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while i thought for some time, i think the reason i was having the "annoying" feelings was probably because i don't have that kind of experience like him and other's people might think i am so "fake" if a 22 years old guy still don't know much about those sex related thing.
somehow i do feel it is quite right about the Maslow's hierarchy of needs where everyone have the sex needs and learned a new word about "fubu" which means "f*** buddy" for the short form.
besides, i do feel there is an opportunity to create a "confession" based website since everyone need a place to express themselves and the best is using an anonymous name.
however, the existence of Facebook social media platform had "killed" a lot of the idea because it is like since we already got Facebook, why would people want another one and most of the people will not buy the idea for the new website idea that have the "anonymous" feature.

in fact, my own project for "anonymous website" had been delayed/abandon for so many years.
furthermore, i do realize the era of blogging seems to come to an end when Facebook arise unless for those blog with picture or also known as comic blog because we don't like to read so many words anymore.
later on, i do saw some friend gathering and feel myself quite "funny" that why i still have the upset feelings when did not get invited.

besides, about the end of the world at 21 December 2012, i think it might no real as the Nasa stated that "The world will not end because our planet has been getting along just fine for more than 4 billion years, and credible scientists worldwide know of no threat associated with 2012" in their website.

in conclusion, i feel that the world is full up with too much of story and the confessions page seems to be keep making myself having a harder feeling when i read it.

sometime i just feel it is best that i don't know anything because it will be happier for not taking those small matters to enlarge like a big problem.

guess "the boy" who want to give up life still struggling for improvement in his life.

>.<