First Day Or Last Day Working?

today i woke up at 7.30am.
then i get myself prepared as it was my first day of working of the company.
around 8.30am i sit my ex-housemate motorbike and went to Wangsa Maju to take LRT to Bangsar station.
at first i thought we need to go to KL Central and change the route to Mid Valley but it seems that we can sit the Free Causeway Link shuttle bus to Mid Valley.
as i arrived there at 9.25am, it seems that there is not much shop open and i just bought a bread as my breakfast since the Mc Donalds there do not open before 10am.
after that, i just walked into the office and it is starting with reading the company rules and regulation with other related information.
somehow i just feel that there is not much to talk about as those information is private.

moreover, i do feel it is something i not really "like" but need to cope with it after knowing "something".
around 1pm i have my lunch with some colleague and our team was very small.
somehow i do feel a not satisfied when know that there will be no pay for some public holiday and during Chinese New Year as the company will shut down at that moment.
perhaps this is what we call as "Chinaman stingy" company as it is new and lack of financial support.
after that, i just spend my time researching and writing the marketing strategy for the company.
frankly speaking, i just feel quite "reluctant" to give out my own experience of those analytic web links and i think i might understand why the "IM speaker" don't willing to share out so much of things for free.
around 6.20pm i make a move from office and rushed to take the free shuttle bus back to Bangsar LRT with my ex-housemate and finally arrived Wangsa at 7.20pm.

then we have our dinner at Kopitiam Desa and i do think a lot about whether today will be my first day or last day of working?
finally i went back home at 8.10pm and continue to think about the same matters.
seriously i had find my brother to talk about it and he gave me a lot of advice.
besides, i do depend on "flip a coin" method to decide when i can't decide but it seems that it is not very right as first time show "Continue" but it show "Quit" for second time and finally third time also "Quit".
somehow i do have a "funny" thought such as life is much more easier by selling "Wan Tan Mee?"
in fact, my father do told me before that if a company pay you XXXX salary, they was expecting that you can at least make 4 time of the XXXX salary offered by time in order to hire you.
furthermore, my thought of wanting to "Quit" was driving me crazy.

it is because there is too much consequences to think about as i might not be competitive enough in the market and i still need money to "survive" despite my "funny" thought was that "I hope money will drop from the sky" which is impossible.
at the end of the day, i do asked myself that what did i learned for today and the answer seems to be that "money don't come in easy way" and we must be careful on those things that is too good to be true.
in addition, i wish i can "tahan" (endure) my feelings as i do not have much choice but to take a risk to work at this company.
at last, i would like to share a meaningful picture that also reflect how i feel for today about "when one door closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us" as picture below.

besides, i did feel myself that sooner or later, it is like no meaning to keep update my blog but yet i still update it for today and read back my yesterday comments although i was feeling very tired. (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
in conclusion, i really need to say "bye bye" to blogging world as it might bring side effect to me after writing so much of "can and cannot share" information.
T.T