frankly speaking, i don't feel like saying this "thing" but it has been "haunting me" since i woke up until now.
therefore i feel that there is no need to "hide" or pretending that it never happen.
in fact, i shall think it with a positive way although it is quite "sexy"? (please guide me)
well, this "sexy thing" was actually about a dream that i had which is the "girl" that i like long time ago was been hugging me tightly when i just woke up inside that dream.
then when she told me that she love me silently while still on her sleeping mode, i just kissed in her cheek but suddenly she woke up and pushed me away hardly until i fell off from the ground together with all her friends that appeared out of sudden nowhere in that dream. (sorry it might sounds weird just like Inception movie but i can swear this feelings was so real)
therefore it just leave me a "sad" feeling after i wake up due to this thing which might probably too "lonely"?
sometime i just wish it was some other character just like those "JAV" movie would appear in my dream but it seems like something was still "haunting" me after my so call "love story" has been ended so long ago, not even started. (maybe the more i don't want to think, it will keep appear?)
over time, many anonymous blogger and some friends has keep giving me advice that "Only TIME can cure everything" which i keep bear that positive attitude in my mind, but i don't feel the same just like others and keep cheating or even "humiliate" my own feelings everyday.
for example, i will keep on tell myself that "aiyah, this kind of feelings is not real lah, the reason you keep remember was only because you can't get her heart mah, so it is not call as love loh, you understand what is love meh, you just need to let go only lah, so many girls out there scare what" and others more noise.
somehow i start to feel a little "crazy" for myself because it is always like i keep talking with myself where i might go to seek for psychology help as my soul seems like been "raped" upside down.
on the other hand, i feel that maybe i just want someone in reality can care about me, that's why i still have the energy to blog everyday because i knew at least there is one person will truly read my story. (but i afraid i might leave this blogging world very soon when i was in a new relationship because i might no longer need it due to no more lonely?)
therefore i feel it is true that why someone said it is good to have a partner to be with you in your life rather than staying alone because if you imagine that when you wake up, got someone that you like say "I Love You" early in the morning, of course your day will be full of happiness no matter you are going to work or doing anything right?
however, i feel myself was a person who was quite "bias" because i seems like don't appreciate much about the people who currently in here just like Mrs Anonymous when she send me an email as below.
honestly, i really like the email you send me but i had a "sad+selfish" thought where i wish that how great if you're the girl i like in that email but sadly it is not. (maybe i did not even have the "heart" to give myself a chance to get to know you?)
furthermore, i think the major problem here is i keep discover my own weakness rather than focusing on my good side which cause me feel "sucks" about life.
around 9.10pm i arrived KL Sentral and went to buy the Cheezy Tuna sandwich as my breakfast.
upon arrived in office, i continue to write my working report as usual for every Monday meetings although it was still 1 more day left before i leave this company.
after i finished my stuff, i went to settle my payment to STA Travel agency.
however, i had failed to send the payment because the limit for default transaction limit is RM3,000 per day and it says that if you like to increase your transaction limit, please select Transaction Limit Maintenance.
therefore i would like to share a guide on how to set Maybank Transaction Limit Maintenance for 3rd party account transfers and interbank fund transfers as below. (click picture to enlarge)
1) Login to your Maybank account and select Accounts & Banking > Transfers > Transaction Limit Maintenance as shown below.
after finish setting the limit, i was in a high alert mode because it was my first time to transact quite a large amount to someone account.
so i just fill in the require step where it can treat as my future reference if the transaction is Failed from Maybank to Public Bank new Firo interbank transfers shown as below.
somehow i do have a "unhappy" feelings came out of sudden when pay it and guess i was over worry for something that did not happen just like the first picture of this blog post.
around 12.30pm i followed my colleagues to have our lunch at Mayflower food court and i the butter chicken was "so so" only since the Prawn "Ho Fun" noodles did not open for today.
upon back office, i was still nervous as usual when come to the meetings and i just presented whatever i contribute to the company.
well, the Japanese boss seems to be just "okay, okay and okay" only for the any things that i said which might because i am leaving soon.
as the meeting end, i just feel so relief and a do feel a little happy.
while looking through some "social networking" site convocation picture, somehow i can't "hold" myself and login to "an" account to saw some of her convocation picture.
however, i just feel so contradict when i "want to see" but end up "emos+feeling" down and asked myself that "so what can you do when after saw those picture+ex-classmate group picture?" and the answer seems like just make me felt speechless.
perhaps i couldn't face the "ugly truth" about myself in the end for all things that happen. (为了顾着自己的感受，不想被伤害或误会，我可以变得绝，放弃了很多朋友，也没有必要解释所发生的一切，走回自己孤独的路程，成为现在的Lonely Reload部落格)
throughout the evening, i just keep listening to some Japanese song and i liked one of the song that title "Prisoner Of Love" by Utada Hikaru as shown below or the link >>> Here.
then i have the economy rice as my dinner and went to cut my hair at Mocco studio but i dislike the guy because he seems like "angry" when cutting boy's hair.finally i arrived back home at 8.10pm and get myself prepared.
somehow i start to feel sleepy and went to take a nap.
the moment i woke up again was 11.15pm although i did not set alarm.
at last, tomorrow will be my last day of working and i had planned to go to KLCC to read/buy some books probably using the BR1M voucher at Kinokuniya and try out the latest Tofu Magic drinks from Juice Works using the free voucher.
guess i shall be more happy that i finally confirmed to go to UK next month despite so much thought has been running through my mind for this year which maybe i am too over worry about something that haven happened yet.
all the best to myself and thanks you all for keep giving me motivational + positive advice.
in conclusion, i feel that the only way to improve or learn something from mistake is by facing a lot of failures although i was not very sure about it until i really reach the very end of my life.